I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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