He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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