How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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