sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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