just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
