OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
