careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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