what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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