I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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