Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
