My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
