Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
