No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
