I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
