it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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