What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
