After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
