honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sext me about skeletons
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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