'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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