All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
my poor anus
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
