there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
