I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
In other news, I just burned my penis
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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