the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
