Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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