so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
