Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
