Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
