So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
