She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
