I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
