I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
is that a dick in a sweater?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
