We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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