everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
