I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
