Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
