I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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