is your mom at the bar?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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