Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
