Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This is classic penis vs brain.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
