and you said cock pushups were impossible
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
