Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
