Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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