nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
