I cockslap morals
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
