We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
