do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
