i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
