also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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