farters have to be the big spoon...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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