Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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