just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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